what can be done when a person with dementia refuses to go to a nursing home
Caring for crumbling parents gives adult children peace of mind to know they are providing loving care. It also allows for them to make more memories and spend more time with parents in the final chapter of their lives. But caregiving is far from like shooting fish in a barrel, especially when loved ones are diagnosed with dementia. Resisting care and general stubbornness are two hallmarks of dementia, and they are amongst the most common reasons that adult children look for help as caregivers. If you lot're unsure how to bargain with stubbornness in parents with dementia, you're non solitary. Nigh family caregivers of loved ones with dementia struggle daily with getting them to the doc, gaining their cooperation, convincing them to bathe and brush their teeth, and communicating with them. Read on for a comprehensive list of tips from other caregivers, medical professionals, gerontologists, and dementia experts. Tips are categorized and listed them alphabetically inside each category, but are not ranked or rated in any way. If you need help caring for a parent or a loved ane with dementia at home, learn more about Seniorlink's coaching and financial assistance programme for caregivers of Medicaid-eligible friends and family unit members. Examples include: – Kim Warchol, Tips to Reduce Bathing and Showering Challenges – A Therapist's Role ,CPI Training; Twitter: @CPI_Training Respond to the Emotion. Older adults may feel nigh comfy around their family members and caregivers, so they feel prophylactic to prove every side of themselves, freely sharing their feelings and frustrations. Unfortunately, in some cases an elderly parent's stubborn behavior can cross the line into physical or verbal abuse. Researchers approximate that between 30 percent and ninety percent of patients with dementia suffer from behavioral disorders, with symptoms such every bit anxiety, psychosis, low, aggression, agitation, and sleep disturbances. An estimated 15 to xx percent of patients with dementia develop fierce behavior. They may be frustrated about their loss of independence and the symptoms they're experiencing, and they feel safe venting those frustrations to those closest to them. In these situations, they may not realize that their behavior is hurtful to their caregivers and family members. In some cases, a history of calumniating behavior can become prominent afterwards in life as dementia progresses, and in other cases, an underlying mental disease tin can pb to calumniating beliefs towards loved ones and caregivers. Personality traits that have always been nowadays can as well become more prominent afterwards in life. These situations tin be particularly isolating for family caregivers who feel an obligation to shoulder the full burden of caregiving. Other family members may exist unwilling or unable to assist with caregiving duties, and family members may not exist receptive or understanding when a caregiver discusses the abusive beliefs with them. Caregivers should try not to accept outbursts personally, although this is difficult in do. Acknowledge your loved 1'south feelings and pain, only also try to get to the root of the problem. Aggressive behaviors can exist caused by a number of emotional and physical factors, such equally pain, medications, hallucinations or delusions, colorlessness, loneliness, or even a loss of control. If yous understand the factors contributing to the behavior, yous tin take steps to alleviate them. If possible, remove yourself from the state of affairs to give yourself and your loved one time to move past your anger and frustration. Every family caregiver should prioritize cocky-care to maintain their health and well-being, but this is particularly of import for those who are the target of calumniating behavior. Arranging respite care can give family unit caregivers a break from the 24-hour interval-to-mean solar day challenges of caregiving and can oftentimes give care recipients a new appreciation for everything their caregiver does for them each mean solar day. If the occasional respite doesn't eliminate an older adult's abusive beliefs, information technology may exist time to consider a professional in-domicile caregiving service or moving your loved one to an assisted living community or retentivity care customs. Of course, it's of import to talk to your loved one's healthcare provider earlier making whatsoever major decisions. At that place may be medications that can help reduce the symptoms they're experiencing or other handling options that can help to improve the situation for both you and your loved one. Need help caring for a parent or a loved i with dementia at dwelling house? Learn more about Seniorlink'southward coaching and financial assist program for caregivers of Medicaid-eligible friends and family members. Tips for Communicating with Your Parent
"Don't push, nag or harangue your parents. Making ultimatums will only get their backs upward, and yelling, arguing or slamming doors could seriously damage the relationship."
– Laura Ellen Christian, 15 Good Tips for When Your Aging Parents Won't Listen , The Arbor Company; Twitter: @ArborCompany
"Does your loved one have a preference about which family member or what type of service provides care? While you lot might non exist able to meet all of your loved one'south wishes, it'south important to accept them into consideration. If your loved one has trouble understanding you, simplify your explanations and the decisions you expect him or her to brand."
– Mayo Dispensary Staff, Caring for the Elderly: Dealing with Resistance , Mayo Clinic; Twitter: @MayoClinic
"Ask one question at a time; those with yes or no answers work best. Refrain from asking open-ended questions or giving too many choices. For example, ask,"Would you like to vesture your white shirt or your blue shirt?" Meliorate nevertheless, show her the choices—visual prompts and cues also aid analyze your question and can guide her response."
– Caregiver'south Guide to Agreement Dementia Behaviors ,Family Caregiver Alliance; Twitter: @CaregiverAlly
"It's of import to offer manageable choices with visual cues. Asking a questions like, 'What would you like to wear?' tin can exist overwhelming — it presents too many options. Instead, hold upward two shirts and ask, 'Would you like the shirt with the yellow flowers or the shirt with the blue stripes?' This simplifies the option and makes it easier to communicate with a person who has dementia."
– Merritt Whitley, How to Talk to Someone With Dementia: 10 Skilful Alzheimer's Communication Strategies , A Place for Mom; Twitter: @APlaceForMom
"Less information is sometimes more than. When it comes to elderly parents who won't listen, bogging them downwards with in-depth details about the solar day's activities or why certain things need to happen is a mistake. Instead, give them the wide strokes of the situation and leave things simple. By leaving things straightforward and easy to empathize, they're much more likely to be okay with something they would typically show a lot of resistance to."
– 10 Tips for When Elderly Parents Won't Mind ,Colonial Home Care Services; Twitter: @ColonialCare
"Good advice can reduce frustration by assuasive you to express yourself while helping others to understand your limits and needs. Assertive communication is different from passive or aggressive advice. When you communicate passively, you lot may exist keeping your own needs and desires inside to avoid conflict with others. While this may seem easier on the surface, the long-term result may be that others feel they can push you around to go their way. When you communicate aggressively, you lot may be forcing your needs and desires onto others. While this allows you to limited your feelings, ambitious communication generally makes others more defensive and less cooperative. When you communicate assertively, you express your own needs and desires while respecting the needs and desires of others. Assertive communication allows both parties to appoint in a dignified discussion well-nigh the issue at mitt."
– Dementia, Caregiving, and Controlling Frustration , Family unit Caregiver Alliance; Twitter: @CaregiverAlly
"First off, don't pepper elders with questions or complicated choices. Instead of saying, 'Do y'all have to use the bathroom?' say, 'Nosotros are going to the bathroom.' If the discussion shower upsets them, don't employ it. 'Come with me,' y'all say, and you cease up at the shower. If someone with dementia is frightened, acknowledge it and say, 'You lot are safe with me. I'll protect y'all.' Subsequently they're calmer, y'all can effort to get them to practise something. The one question that people with dementia often reply to is this: 'I really demand your help. Tin you lot help me with this?'"
– Stacey Burling, They're Not Just Stubborn: How to Get People with Dementia to Participate ,Philly.com; Twitter: @phillydotcom
– Alzheimer'southward and dementia: Tips for better communication, Mayo Clinic; Twitter:@MayoClinic
"The problem at mitt is that your loved one is resisting help — but [manager of programs at the Los Angeles Caregiver Resources Center Shawn] Herz says you may be contributing to the situation by telegraphing your anger, resentment, and frustration through your body language. Many caregivers are not aware of the power of nonverbal communication even with dementia patients, she says."
– Madeline R. Vann, When Dementia Patients Resist Help ,Everyday Health; Twitter: @EverydayHealth
"Discuss what activities they can still do independently. Perhaps they are still able to prepare their meals or do the laundry. List all the normal activities they can manage, but then have them tell you what is starting to go more than difficult, like paying the bills or climbing stairs. If they tin can acknowledge some trouble areas, and so you lot may be able to attain a compromise."
– How to Bargain with Elderly Resistance ,C-Intendance Wellness Services; Twitter: @CCareHealth
"Listen more than you talk. A good idea in near any situation and peculiarly useful when with your parents. How volition you know what is bothering them (and making them stubborn) if you don't listen, no matter how petty the chat. They may be trying to tell you something without telling you lot. Sometimes you'll have to read betwixt the lines."
– Trick and Tips For Dealing with Stubbornness In Seniors , Assisted Senior Living
"While understanding dementia begins with knowing what to expect, it continues with knowing what prompts these behaviors. As soon as yous can identify what prompts the behaviors, you volition then able to deal with them properly. By and large speaking, these emotions can be triggered by nearly anything. The most powerful trigger is the brain, since it'due south the main source of the affliction. However, stimuli from the surround, your loved one's wellness, or his or her medication can too contribute. Other times, patients may be more prone to these behaviors simply because they are not feeling well or even considering of an unfamiliar activity. For many, these behaviors are the only way they remember how to communicate."
– Nathan McVeigh, Understanding Dementia and Dealing with Difficult Beliefs ,Lotsa Helping Hands; Twitter: @LotsaHelping
"When someone has dementia, they tend to pay more attention to what they see, non what they hear. Equally humans, our instinct is to get information from what nosotros see. Visual information becomes fifty-fifty more ascendant as changes in the brain go far more difficult to understand speech . That'due south why it's necessary to reduce the amount of talking and use clear visual cues when you're helping someone with dementia. This increases your older adult's agreement of what's happening and helps them cooperate ameliorate."
– DailyCaring Editorial Team, How to Reduce Resistance to Care in Dementia: An Adept Demonstrates ,DailyCaring; Twitter: @DailyCaring
"You may need to utilise some hand gestures and facial expressions to brand yourself understood. Pointing or demonstrating can assist. Touching and belongings the person's hand may help keep their attention and show them that y'all intendance. A warm grinning and shared laughter can often communicate more words tin can."
– Dementia – Advice ,Better Health Channel; Twitter: @BetterHealthGov
Tips for Gaining Cooperation
"People with dementia need to exist treated equally autonomous and competent people who have unique skills and abilities that can be helpful. They may, however, benefit from some accommodation for any challenges they may be facing due to fluctuating abilities."
– Meaningful Engagement of People With Dementia,The Alzheimer Society of Canada; Twitter: @AlzCanada
"If your relative gets upset and acts out whatsoever time yous try to help her go her dressed or bathed, there is a good reason: Tasks that people with healthy brains tin do on autopilot can exist completely overwhelming for those with dementia, who struggle to remember and master every lilliputian stride: how to put an arm through a sleeve, pull on socks, button a blouse. Keeping things equally unproblematic as possible, by choosing clothing with few buttons or zippers, for case, tin assistance, likewise every bit calmly giving clear, simple instructions every stride of the way."
– Marisa Cohen, Behavioral challenges with Alzheimer's: Tips for caregivers,Care.com; Twitter: @CareDotCom 
"Do not force your loved i to do anything since this could lead to aggression. Endeavor again later, subsequently using a lark of something he or she finds pleasant. Perhaps y'all could offer a walk, watching a favorite idiot box bear witness, listening to music, or feeding the birds."
– Ballad Duff, Caregiver Tips for Those with Dementias Alzheimer'south Stubbornness and Uncooperativeness ,Veterans Today Network; Twitter: @veteranstoday
"If your loved 1 won't shower, for instance, volition he or she at least concur to a sponge bath? What about washing their hair? What about merely washing their hands before eating? Sometimes compromise leads directly to a 'aye.'"
– v Creative Ways to Proceeds Cooperation from a Senior with Dementia ,Home Instead Senior Care; Twitter: @homeinstead
"Resisting medications tin exist a response to feeling rushed, afraid, or confused virtually what they are supposed to do. Feeling a loss of control can too trigger resistance and acrimony. Endeavor breaking the process down into steps, and reassuringly and calmly, explain what y'all are doing. Requite them time. Any part of the procedure they tin participate in should be encouraged. Possibly yous will demand to cascade the water into the glass, but they can pick the pill upward from the tabular array and put information technology in their own oral cavity. If they need assist getting the glass to their mouth, gently provide that aid."
– Kathleen Allen, Refusing to Take Medications: Tips for the Alzheimer'due south Caregiver ,BrightFocus Foundation; Twitter: @_BrightFocus
"When information technology's time to requite medication, start with a calm environment. Make certain there aren't whatsoever loud sounds like Tv or mayhem like lots of people around. You could also try playing soft, soothing music. Yous should also be calm yourself. If yous're agitated, frustrated, or angry, they'll exist able to sense information technology and will also become agitated and less likely to cooperate. Take some deep breaths earlier you lot starting time and stay calm throughout the process."
– DailyCaring Editorial Team, 11 Ways to Get Someone with Dementia to Take Medication ,DailyCaring; Twitter: @DailyCaring 
"Over again, the key is to go on things relaxed and casual. You lot exercise non have to make them entirely forget that they are brushing their teeth simply introduce something which makes the process fun or more interesting. Over the years, studies take demonstrated the remarkable impact of music on dementia. Even in the late stages of the illness, many sufferers remember their favorite tunes and light up when they are played. This technique is definitely worth a try if yous go along encountering resistance when it comes fourth dimension to castor."
– Dementia and Oral Wellness: How to Help Sufferers Intendance for Their Teeth , Carefree Dental; Twitter: @CarefreeDental
"Some time ago a highly regarded colleague, Sharon Roberts, RN, performed a modest study on bathing challenges in persons with dementia. She informed me that she learned one of the greatest methods to reduce resistance or refusal was simply to gain agreement from the patient. This often means the caregiver must get artistic in order to place a situation that might encourage patient agreement."
"Much of the frustration in Alzheimer's patients come from losing the ability to perform basic daily tasks. If you are caring for your parent, it may be based on their having taught you how to perform these tasks when you lot were a kid. This loss of ability can lead to stubbornness when you endeavour to step in and exercise the tasks for them. When possible, permit your loved one perform intimate or basic tasks on their ain. This can reduce stress and frustration for both parties."
– How to Deal with Stubbornness in an Alzheimer's Patient ,Alzheimers Inspire; Twitter: @ALzDementiaHelp
"Stick to familiar, easy-to-understand topics, too. A person with Alzheimer'south or other forms of dementia is less probable to exist confused if you talk about his favorite subjects or things he'due south demonstrated he remembers or relates to well — the weather condition, what's for lunch, the birds at the feeder, a ball game. Discussions that require abstract thinking or a great deal of concentration — politics and current events, for example — may prove too complicated."
– A Guide to Alzheimer's Caregiving , Caring. com; Twitter: @Caring
"The first step is to make up one's mind why they take stopped bathing. If depression is the cause, speak with their doctor. Therapy and medications tin can assist. If modesty is a problem and the elder doesn't want a family member helping them bathe, they may be open to having a professional caregiver provide bathing help. If they are agape of the water (or slipping in the tub), in that location are many types of shower chairs, showerheads and other products that can help. If the person has dementia and is agape of bathing, then you must be gentle. Don't insist on a full shower or bath. Brainstorm with a small asking, like asking if y'all can simply wipe off their confront. As they become used to this, you lot tin gradually add together cleaning other parts of the body. Be certain to chat with them during the process and let them know what you lot are doing equally you go. Exercise your best to proceed your parent clean, merely continue your expectations realistic. Too much nagging is counter-productive, and at the finish of the day, you lot may have to lower your standards and conform your definition of cleanliness."
– Marlo Sollitto, Dealing With an Elderly Parent'southward Bad Behavior ,AgingCare.com; Twitter: @AgingCare
"If your loved one keeps request well-nigh a certain family fellow member, he or she may need reassurance that this person is healthy and safety. Avoid trying to reason with the patient, this may oft lead to frustration for both of you, because he or she may be unable to follow lengthy explanations."
–Tanis J. Ferman, PhD, Mayo Clinic, Glenn Eastward. Smith, PhD, Mayo Clinic, and Briana Melom, MA, LSW, Understanding Behavioral Changes in Dementia, Lewy Body Dementia Association; Twitter: @LBDAssoc 
"When bathing a person with dementia, permit the person to practise as much equally possible. Be gear up to assist when needed but attempt to offering only the level of assist necessary. In the earlier stages, the person may only need a reminder to bathe. As the disease progresses, he or she will crave more assistance."
– Bathing , Alzheimer'due south Association; Twitter: @alzassociation
"Teepa Snow, an acclaimed dementia-care education specialist, reminds us that the sense of taste changes with the progress of the disease. Unfortunately, the ability to find bitterness remains strong. This is one reason why it becomes more than hard to sneak medications into food. The other reason is that people with the disease can notwithstanding detect texture… "What does Snow advise? Jam. Not jelly, which is smooth, but sweet, lumpy jam. This is, in my opinion, sheer brilliance. It's both sugariness and textured. Nearly people who like sweets will non bulk at a spoonful of their favorite jam. If the pill is 1 that can exist crushed, go far equally fine every bit possible and so add it to a spoon of jam."
– Ballad Bradley Bursack, How To Get People With Dementia To Take Pills ,HealthCentral; Twitter: @healthcentral 
"When we desire our parent to make some kind of change, brand it our problem and have all the arraign. If we're trying to get mom to accept a dwelling helper, recall about pitching it every bit our need, not hers, such as, 'Mom, I'1000 such a worry wart, I can't help myself. I'm losing sleep over you not getting enough skillful food in the house. Please help me. I need y'all to put my crazy mind at rest. Could I ask you to try a person out to come up in and shop and cook for you a few times a week? I'll help you lot find someone. Please, for me?'"
– half dozen Ways To Handle Stubbornness In Seniors ,Alternatives for Seniors; Twitter: @Alternatives4Sr
"Second, if your crumbling parent is non only refusing assist but is clearly unable to care for himself or herself, you can call a family coming together and brainstorm about the best way to approach your parent. 2 heads really are meliorate than one. 1 adult child may be able to become through to Mom better than anyone and it's worth a try to make that person the kids' emissary. If everyone in the family unit and perhaps a all-time friend is willing to approach your parent, you may be able to get your parent to take that aid is necessary."
– Carolyn Rosenblatt, "My Dad Has Dementia-He's Being Horrible to Me!" ,Forbes; Twitter: @Forbes 
"If yous face resistance when starting in habitation care services or starting whatever new routine, stress that it'southward on a trial basis or mention that information technology's 'doctor's orders.' Mom or Dad may be mad at yous for taking him or her to the md, but once it's over he or she may soon forget and move past the negative feelings. If you can get the person with dementia into a new routine centered on additional home care services, he or she may actually brainstorm to enjoy the socialization and attention."
– How Can I Turn a NO into a Yeah? ,Help for Alzheimer's Families; Twitter: @homeinstead
"Sometimes adult caregivers tin can view their elderly parents' uncooperativeness as a type of temper tantrum. Realize this is non the example. Modest children possess the ability to reason, which is why you don't want to reward a tantrum. Withal, cognitive decline in seniors can atomic number 82 to an inability to reason effectively. That'due south why advantage systems are A-OK when trying to elicit cooperation from an older adult. When y'all make a request you look will be met with resistance, try adding a reward to it. Yous may exist surprised to discover how eager your loved i is to please you when they recall they're getting something out of it."
– 5 Artistic Means to Gain Cooperation from a Senior with Dementia ,CaregiverStress.com; Twitter: @homeinstead 
"A cheerful, calm, open and soothing demeanor of the caregiver helps ensure cooperation. Even extreme dementia beliefs such every bit pacing, rummaging, and wandering should be met with serenity and compassion. This usually wins more than cooperation from a dementia patient than anger or shouting, which add to the person'southward mental burden."
– Joy Intriago, Winning Dementia Patients' Cooperation ,SeniorsMatter.com; Twitter: @Seniorsmatter Tips for Handling Outside Help
"Many times in-home caregivers' best efforts are met with anger or even abuse dished out by the elderberry they are intended to care for. It is crucial for the family unit and hired caregiver(s) to determine the underlying reason for a senior's lack of cooperation and find means to remedy the situation. I believe that fear is the foundation of much of a senior'due south reluctance and fifty-fifty disrespect for non-family caregivers. The presence of an outsider may suggest to them that their family can't (or doesn't want to) take care of their needs. Information technology also magnifies the extent of the elder's care needs, making them feel peculiarly vulnerable. This combination of concerns tin can create the perfect storm, especially if they are prone to lashing out when aroused. Of course, the family members who arrange these services become an earful, but the professional caregiver becomes the primary target for sending the message that outside help is neither wanted nor needed."
– Ballad Bradley Bursack, Coping with Seniors Who Won't Take In-Abode Caregivers , AgingCare.com; Twitter: @AgingCare 
"You draw it equally your trouble, non theirs. You lot talk virtually something well-nigh parents don't ever want, which is to be a burden to their kids. Y'all ask them to help you lot and ease your worry. If they agree to consider something, that is when you advise the help you lot had in heed. You lot describe what would brand you feel better, similar hiring a worker to assist with bathing or grocery shopping, etc. Acknowledge that y'all notwithstanding want your parent to be in consummate control over the decision nigh hiring anyone. Offer to help research the all-time places to observe a helper and the prices. You tin likewise offer to assist with the interviewing process."
– Carolyn Rosenblatt, How to Handle a Stubborn Aging Parent ,Forbes; Twitter: @Forbes
"Stopping a strong-minded elder tin can be tricky when the elder refuses to mind to family unit, tin can't or won't accept the concept of beingness likewise impaired to drive and is stubborn nearly the issue. If your loved one is in this situation, enlist the help of the medico when you tin can, or law enforcement when possible. You could exist saving your loved one's life or that of others."
– Carolyn Rosenblatt, True Story: The Prominent Dad With Dementia Who Refused to Cease Driving ,Forbes; Twitter: @Forbes
"If possible, include your parent in interviews or in setting schedules when hiring in-dwelling care, says [Care.com senior intendance advisor Mary] Stehle. Let them choose certain days of the calendar week or times of mean solar day to take a home health aide come. Emphasize an adjutant will be a companion for walks, concerts, museum visits and other favorite activities."
– Elizabeth Pope, nine Strategies to Help a Parent Who Refuses Care ,Care.com; Twitter: @CareDotCom
"Talk to a professional trained to help people struggling with aging parents, such as a geriatric care manager (now known equally an aging life care professional ) or a senior care adviser."
– Leslie Kernisan, Q&A: What to practise if your aging parent becomes rude & resistant,Meliorate Health While Crumbling; Twitter: @drkernisan Tips for Understanding Your Parent's Behavior
"When your parent or other loved one begins to human activity aggressively, consider if their actions are really a problem. A problem beliefs is one that can result in an adverse outcome for the individual, or someone else. For case, enquire yourself – can the action cause damage to the person or someone else? While some behaviors may be uncomfortable to exist around or peradventure disruptive or embarrassing, they may non truly be harmful. Attempt not to right, intervene, or even unintentionally escalate a situation if it's non necessary."
– Top ix Tips for Dealing With Ambitious Beliefs in Parents With Dementia , Maple Heights Senior Living; Twitter:@MapleHeightsDC
"Some beliefs tin can exist embarrassing, disruptive or uncomfortable to be around, but may non really be harmful. Avert correcting, intervening or unintentionally escalating situations past knowing when to let some things get. If Mom would rather habiliment four layers of pants at a time and rummage through her closet not-stop, let her. Protect your loved ane from harm and then allow some sense of freedom and command by creating space for your loved one to make their own choices when possible."
– Mara Botonis, New Approaches for Dealing with Difficult Dementia Behaviors ,Alzheimers.net; Twitter: @Alzheimersnet
"Nobody wants to lose control of their life, specially someone who's already concerned about losing independence. That'south why it's so important to involve your parent every bit much every bit possible when you're planning for their care. This helps them run into you more than every bit a partner rather than someone who'due south swooping in to brand changes. They're likely to be resistant in the get-go, then it will probably take multiple conversations. Equally long as they're not in immediate danger, try not to forcefulness changes as well quickly."
– seven Steps To Take When Crumbling Parents Need Aid , DailyCaring; Twitter: @dailycaring
"Some sort of tasks are difficult to take assist for. The person may feel bad nigh beingness cleaned/ bathed etc. This sometimes results in the person resisting assist, even if the person cannot practise the task lone. The person may fifty-fifty endeavour to hit out. Find ways to relax the persons with dementia and to make them experience comfortable. Soft, soothing music can be helpful for many persons because such music creates a more relaxed mood, reduces agitation, and improves their cooperation. Softly talking to them about something they are interested in may also help to relax them/ distract them from the unpleasantness of the task being done."
– Helping with Activities of Daily Living ,Dementia Intendance Notes; Twitter: @dementiaDCN 
Suzanne Alexander, a social worker with the Mills-Peninsula Infirmary Health Eye in the San Francisco Bay Surface area, gives this advice on dealing with stubbornness and aggression: "Kickoff, depersonalize the behavior. You need to realize information technology isn't aimed at you lot. Your loved i isn't doing this to cause problem. Second, see the resistant behavior every bit a grade of nonverbal communication. Try to figure out what your loved one is trying to say, then address the upshot. Often the resistance is rooted in fearfulness, co-ordinate to the Alzheimer's Association. For example, people with Alzheimer's may resist taking a bath because being naked and enclosed in a shower frightens them. They may feel humiliated by their loss of ability and react to this emotion when asked to do something they don't understand. In the primeval stages, they may become angry at any suggestion that they are no longer fully competent, because the reality of what's happening to them is too terrifying to admit."
– Beth Witrogen, Uncooperativeness and Alzheimer's , HealthDay; Twitter: @HealthDayEditor
"The well-nigh important thing to remember about verbal or physical assailment, says the Alzheimer's Clan , is that your loved ane is not doing it on purpose. Assailment is usually triggered by something—frequently concrete discomfort, environmental factors such every bit being in an unfamiliar situation, or even poor advice. 'A lot of times aggression is coming from pure fright,' says Tresa Mariotto, Family Ambassador at Silverado Senior Living in Bellingham, WA. 'People with dementia are more apt to hit, boot or bite" in response to feeling helpless or afraid.'"
– Sarah Stevenson, Dementia Care Dos & Don'ts: Dealing with Dementia Behavior Bug ,A Place for Mom; Twitter: @APlaceForMom
"With the progression of this disease, patients lose more and more vocabulary, and it becomes very hard for them to follow a complex conversation. That's why, for you to be understood, it is important to utilize uncomplicated and short sentences, speak slowly and clearly, ask one question or give one instruction at a time, and use non-exact cues. Thus, patients will find it easier to understand yous and they will be more than likely to cooperate and participate during intendance and activities."
– Philippe Voyer, Communicating with People with Dementia: Avoiding Mistakes ,Canadian Nurse; Twitter: @canadanurses
"Caregivers need patience and persistence to sort through patients' behavioral clues. They should begin by ruling out straightforward concrete factors such as pain, injury, constipation, infection, wet briefs, tight or uncomfortable dress, or a patient feeling too hot or too common cold. A patient may provide clues about an underlying problem. In 1 actual situation, a patient complained bitterly that his foot injure. In the emergency department, an assessment revealed a astringent bladder infection. Following handling, the patient said his human foot no longer hurt. He had provided the biggest clue—that he had pain—and it was up to caregivers and health care professionals to find the source. Caregivers should review the events of the previous day to evaluate whether a patient is fatigued from lack of sleep or whether there are changes to a patient's routine or environment, including the presence of uncomplicated holiday decorations, for example. Change is the enemy of people with dementia."
– Linda Conti, Managing Difficult Behaviors in Dementia ,Today's Geriatric Medicine; Twitter: @TodaysGeriMed
"So I commiserate here, but what if your elderberry/infirmed parent is being stubborn almost not taking their meds, not going to the neurologist for a diagnosis, not giving up driving when they've already had a couple of fender benders, or insisting on living on their own–simply information technology's not on their ain–neighbors, friends, church members and yousare at that place all the time and yet, you worry about them falling or burning down the house not because you're paranoid, merely because it's a valid business. I know considering my mom had Parkinson's and what I thought was early stages dementia (turned out to be Alzheimer'due south) when she was still insisting on living on her own. It took a village to go on my mom going, and I then appreciated everyone'southward help, just information technology was wearing me out to coordinate it all and go over there all the time–and worry about her going to the mailbox and tripping, wearing a long, flouncy business firm robe (with shaky Parkinson's tremors) and cooking something that could catch her sleeve on fire. And she was paranoid and believing that every squirrel that traipsed across her roof was a burglar. A phone call to 911 was a weekly affair."That was my situation, and while frustrating and worrisome, there are many horror stories of elderberry situations that accept had catastrophic endings. So, what do you do when you want your parent to feel respected and you really don't desire to take away their independence, but you're worried virtually them? Permit them know you'd like to exist their intendance/decision partner. Hopefully, you can get them to agree to a partnership. Exercise what's right. End existence a people pleaser. Reach deep inside you and find the resolve to make the tough decisions when you need to."
– Carol D. O'Dell, How To Deal With a Stubborn Parent , Caregiving, mothering Female parent and More; Twitter: @CarolDOdell
"As people lose the ability to talk clearly, they may rely on other ways to communicate their thoughts and feelings. For example, their facial expressions may prove sadness, anger, or frustration. Grasping at their undergarments may tell you they need to use the bathroom."
– Alzheimer's Caregiving: Changes in Communication Skills,National Constitute on Aging; Twitter: @Alzheimers_NIH
How to Bargain with Abusive Beliefs from a Parent with Dementia
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